There are about to be some big changes in my life. In many many areas. I'll get to some of them later. But first, this post may be a bit TMI.
I knew it was a migraine from the start. My migraines just don't happen like this. I don't get the headache first. My migraines start with losing my vision, which is the scariest feeling in the world, even after getting them for 12 years now. Then, a more recent development, my entire left side goes numb. And then, the most recent development, I stop making sense when I speak. I can't remember words, I jumble my sentences. In all, its a hot mess. And then the headache. The easy part. Usually, once that hits, I'm good to go and fully functional. Its the other stuff (the stroke symptoms, as the doctor calls it) that knock me on my ass.
So, what was different this time? I woke up with the headache. My right eyeball felt like it was swollen. I kept wondering 'is this even possible? Can my eyeball explode?' Okay, maybe I was a bit delirious. But, really, I woke up at about 5:30 with this pain. And I tried sleeping it off. But I woke up at about 7:30 and it wasn't going anywhere, and fast. Doesn't mean that I didn't try. But, at 8, the puke-fest kicked off. I'm not the kind of person that gets sick and throws up. If I get sick its strep throat. I have the worst tonsils EVER. It sucks. But, from that point, I seriously was throwing up every half hour for 2 and a half hours. By the 4th and 5th time, I just kept thinking "I don't have the energy for this." I seriously am wondering how I survived. I just couldn't continue.
In the midst of all this, I was trying to figure out what was wrong. I had the headache, but, it was more like a sinus headache. And yea, I throw up once when I get migraines, it usually relieves the pressure. But, 5 times? That was weird. But, I did end up loosing my vision and my left side went numb. So what was it? All three? I'm still feeling completely off. Better, just off. But, what was it? I still have no idea. Was it the flu, a sinus infection and a migraine all at once? I guess thats possible?
I texted A immediately upon getting sick. Just to give her a heads-up. Her and her dad were the only people I really saw yesterday. If they get sick, I will feel like the worst friend ever. I guess her dad isn't so concerned, he laughed.
Either way, there are going to be some changes. I'm so sick of walking around wondering when I am going to get another migraine. I can't do this. I worry about everything. When I get married again, will I get a migraine that day? I still wonder how I didn't get a migraine the day of my first wedding, I was so stressed out (I mean SOMEONE was 5 hours late.. but another time, another blog). Its just, its not a fun existence. I actually told my mom this is my greatest fear if I end up joining the Navy. This migraine was soooo debilitating that, if I'm in boot camp and this happens, what am I supposed to say 'I have a migraine, I can't.' Cause that's gonna fly. I don't want it to be an issue. I really don't. I wish the whole thing had gone through when I started it. When my heart was in it. But, things happen. And I get migraines, and its a fact of life.
But as for the changes, I definitely need to start taking better care of myself. I always laugh that if a normal person drank the amount of caffeine that I drink they would be up for 10 days. That's not really healthy. And yea, I have a gym membership, but I don't really use it much. Its time to change all this. I'll let you know how it goes.