28 October 2010


Okay, my fabulous friend Justine pointed something out to me. And she is one of those people who can say something and actually make me think about it.

She said that my last blog sounded like I was cutting people down. Please don't take it that way. It is not what I meant.

My mom was (and still is) a housewife. She quit her job when I was in third grade and hasn't looked back. She is one of my best friends. I wouldn't give that up for anything in the world.

I have the utmost respect for women who stay home and raise their children. My brothers and I would not be the people that we are had she not been home.

She and my dad have always told  me to get an education. Because, there may be a day (and there WILL be a day) where I need to support myself. And that day would have been made easier by getting my education first.

Women are already married without education. And that is awesome. And there is nothing wrong with getting an education after you are married. But, the point? Get an education, some way some how.

Advice for Women

I know sometimes people don't agree with what I say. It comes with the territory. I'm okay with that. But, something I have learned that I want women to know. This road hasn't been an easy one. Its been long. Sometimes I felt like I was walking barefoot. Most of the time I feel like I am walking alone. Its been hot some days and rainy other days. It's been a long walk and some days, it seems like there will never be an end.

I've learned a lot of lessons along the way. I've grown. I've become a COMPLETELY different person than I was two years ago. Unrecognizable even. The biggest lesson I've learned and the most important is that you don't know what tomorrow holds. I want to say that again: You do NOT know what tomorrow holds. You can't count on your spouse for tomorrow. Whether it is by divorce or something unspeakable, you do not know what is going to happen.

That being said, I don't have an education. I lied, I should say I don't have a full education. I have about half of an education. I thought I wouldn't be able to finish. I thought I was just going to have to work my ass off an pay nothing jobs. Wrong. I do get to finish my education. And I am finishing my education. But, the thing is, it would have been easier to finish my education before I got married. As a normal college student would. But, of course I learn things the hard way.

Honestly, I would tell women to do it the easy way. Go to school, Get a degree, Get a job and then get married. Or at least have a degree before you get married. Because it is so much harder to do it this way. And you need to be able to support yourself. If tomorrow holds some unspeakable future, you want to have a job or be able to get a job that allows you to support yourself.

I look at the women who are homemakers and have no skills other than changing diapers and cooking dinner and no real marketable skills, and it makes me wonder what they would do if they were put in my situation. And they can tell me that they don't believe in divorce. I can understand that. Neither do I and I am still in this situation. As I said before, you never know. I fully trusted him and his beliefs. So, what security can you have in that?

I know, right now those exact susie homemakers are rolling their eyes at me, thinking I'm an idiot and all out genuinely hating me. Deep down, you know I'm right. You know there is a chance he could leave, something unspeakable could happen, he could lose his job or you could outright NEED to get a job. And then what?

I'm not against wanting to be a stay at home mom. There is NO shame in that. And that is not what I am saying. But, going through everything I've gone through has taught me how crucial it is to get an education.

I'll leave you with this. Even if you never use a college education at a job, isn't it worth it just to be educated?

17 October 2010


I'm not stupid. Not by any definition of the word. And I'd venture to say that I'm pretty smart- okay really smart. So, the most frustrating thing in the world is when I don't understand a subject in school. This has never happened. I usually get things so well that I stop paying attention- hence the negative direction my education has taken. But, since I've been back in school I've been really focused. I read my econ book every week and I do my work and I post on our discussion boards and I get it. And then I take the test. And I fail. And not just a little. I'm saying on the last two quizzes I've gotten 4 out of 10. FOUR! FOUR! Do you know how great my "C" in Econ looks next to the "A" in my other two classes? And right now, I'm barely holding on to that "C". I want to cry. I want to crawl in a hole and cry. And my natural instinct is to say eff it and stop doing my work for the class. And I really want to. But, I can't. If I don't pass all my classes this semester, the school won't give me my scholarship money next semester, which means no school next semester. THIS SUCKS.