Ever stood on the edge of a cliff? Or even been on a ropes course and done the power pole? Or even, have you ever been on a roller coaster? You know that feeling you get. Right before you are supposed to jump? It's a strange feeling. Knowing that you are okay to jump. If you jump you will come out of it perfectly fine, a little exhilarated, but fine. Like, when you are on a power pole (because I believe it represents the feeling a little better).
Here's a diagram of a power pole, in case you don't know what I mean.
Or Watch Here what its like to jump off a pole. My experience with it is a little different. I've done it twice (or three times?? I don't remember). And its intense. (And I have no idea whose video that is. I just found a relevant one). My personal experience is a little different, we weren't kicking a ball. Rather reaching for a handle bar or steering wheel. Which I actually find more appropriate in this situation.
So what am I getting at? Right now, the things I'm feeling right now are like right before you jump. You KNOW you are gonna be okay. You know there is someone (or in some cases more than one person) on the ground waiting to catch you, on your belay. But, you're afraid. And you have every right to be afraid. You are 30, 40, 60 feet in the air (I think mine were both 30-35ish). And it's not natural. And right now, I need to convince myself to jump.
In other news, PRAISE GOD! My little brother was in a horrific car accident yesterday. He lives in Texas, and he was on a dirt road. And he rolled his truck 3 times. He was fine. Minor concussion. Cuts and bruises. That's all. It still makes me sick to think about. There are so many things that worry me about it. And a piece of me gets sick just thinking about how he was alone, and what was he thinking about. It crushes me to know he was alone. But luckily he has amazing people out there for him. His boss came and got him and took him to the hospital. And he sat in the waiting room the whole time he was there! And then his amazing girlfriend, Emily, was there with him. And helped us handle everything else, after (and get this) Doug went to WORK! I am so so so thankful that he is okay. Words can't even describe how thankful I am. And its incredible that he was fine.
Remember to wear your seatbelt! It saves lives!! I know I'm driving a little bit more careful after seeing that.