09 June 2011


You can now access my blog on your phone! Yup, blogger added another new feature and it makes it easier to be viewed on a smart phone.

The never ending name saga is OVER! I am no longer in an identity crisis and officially have my maiden name back :) It was such a drama to get it switched back. But, I got it done for free (minus the pesky DMV fee for my license).

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I have a friend, I'll call her K (I don't want to divulge her name, her story is not mine to tell), we have been friends for almost 10 years now. She has been there through everything. And when I say everything, I literally mean everything I have ever gone through in my life, she has stood there by my side never faltering.
When I was in the beginning stages of my divorce we went and got matching tattoos. I always said that I would never get a tattoo of someone's name, and I thought matching tattoos were creepy. But this was something important to me. I absolutely make sure my tattoos mean something to me- they're permanent. We have two hearts intertwined, one is teal and the other is black (colors we chose with no reason other than we liked them). Every time I look at it I remember that no matter what, our hearts are connected.
Anyways, K is going though a break up that is something awful. I've been hearing her say things that I remember saying at the beginning of my divorce. I remember feeling so broken and miserable that just getting through the morning took more effort than I had.
I've been trying to be there for her, as much as our schedules permit. And sometimes, I just don't have the words. And it occurred to me that I don't have to have the words. I don't remember a single word that was said to me when I was trying to deal with the shock, the stress, the pain, and just everything. But, what I do remember who was there for me. I don't mean the people who said "Oh I'm here if you need anything." As much as I appreciated it at the time, who of them really was there? The people I remember are the people who got tattoos with me, that met me in the driveway with wine, that helped me move out,  that drove down just to see the tattoo. And I especially remember those who are still here and listening whenever it comes up.
This epiphany has led me to this, it doesn't matter what you say as long as you are there for them. Of course, support them. Be there for them. But the exact words that you say won't matter. As long as you are helpful, they will get through this.
I did.