29 April 2010

I take it back

I take back what I said about him never hurting me. He hurt me. He will forever be hurting me. I'm the kind of girl that things stay with. And as over him as I might be. The pain is still there. I will bring that pain with me the rest of my life. That pain is sometimes to much to bear. I can't handle it. Not right now, not right at this moment. I hate what he did. I hate what I have become. This is not me. I don't run in fear. I run from any semblance of a relationship. But, this knot in my stomach. I HATE HATE HATE when I do this to myself. It's my own fault. I don't have to do these things. But, I continue to. In fact... I just deleted any connection I had to him on facebook. His friends.. deleted. I only had like two left and barely did I even remember that I was friends with them. But, something has popped up. TWICE in fact in the last two days. And it just hurts. I hate this. Hate hate hate hate hate hate it.

So, next time if I say he didn't hurt me, please remind me of this. Please remind me that he took who I was from me.

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